Rising every time we fall…

I hope to regularly resume your programming soon. First let me explain the break as it was much longer than anticipated and pretty unexpected.

A year ago in February, on Friday the 13th (because I needed good luck of course!) I had brain surgery. This was a fluke. I happened to be having a set-back in my running already and then bam! ANOTHER ONE. WHY NOT? I’m not going to go into the nitty gritty details because it’s not entirely relevant to this running blog, I will just say that it was an interesting experience and all went well! I came out the other side with a lucky horseshoe and a titanium plate…and issues running.

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Lucky horseshoe! Or zombie bite- your choice.

I thought I would be running RIGHT AFTER surgery- like recovery for a bit and then bam, business as usual. I tried actually. I got on the exercise bike and dizzily biked twice. Then I went out with my husband at 6 weeks and tried to go for a ‘run’. We ran/walked for 4 miles. It was exhausting. It made me dizzy. It made me want to barf all over. I figured I just needed more time to recover.

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I rested more and walked instead. I remained tired but got better and better and went back to work and life. I kept trying on and off to ‘run’ with embarrassing failures of dizziness and fast fatigue.

I entered the Twins 5K to motivate myself in August.

I got depressed.

I was told it takes 12-18 months to fully recover.

I quit trying.

The Fifteen’s 5K came and the hubby and I went out and jog/walked for 3.2 miles…taking a full 45 minutes to finish. I smiled for nearly the whole time just to be back out on a race course not caring if I had to walk a lot. When I got home I fell asleep for the rest of the day and then slept the next day too.  All from 3 miles.

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At the finish of the Fifteen’s 5K (don’t make fun of the hair- it’s my first time running in public with short hair!)

I signed up for a turkey trot to and the ugly sweater run (back to back!) try to keep myself moving.  But I didn’t.  I would get home from work and fall asleep or fall asleep at work. On the weekend I thought about running. I got sad that I was not “me” anymore. That I was tired and slow and dizzy.  Once in a blue moon I’d buck the thoughts and get out and run/walk. Usually though, I pouted. A very bad spot to be.

The turkey trot came up in November and a good friend had agreed to run it with me. I gave him a heads-up that he should go on and let me be. Yep, the whine monster was out.  He insisted on jog/walking along with me anyways and cruised to a 45 minute 5K with my husband and I- not complaining a bit when I stumbled or got dizzy and bumped into him. At the Ugly Sweater Run two days later a girlfriend ran/walked with me and we talked the whole time which was a welcome reprieve from the bad thoughts that had been cruising around whenever I had been on feet.

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Me and a good friend at the Ugly Sweater run. Her sweater got A LOT of attention!

I called uncle at that point. I wasn’t enjoying myself. I needed to “love” running. Being dizzy and tired wasn’t working out. I had to wait this out and dip my feet back in in the right way so I didn’t end up hating it!

So…here I am. In high anticipation of starting over. I’m just nearing the 1 year point of my brain chopping extravaganza. I’m about to slowly re-enter the running world. I’m not going to jump in and just run as if I’m still “Sarah the ultra-runner”  instead I’m going to enter like I’m Sarah who WANTS to run.

I am scheduled to pace the Fargo half at a nice 12:39 pace in May.  Fargo was my first half. It seems fitting that I’m getting back in shape to pace the race I consider home base.  And I finally feel excited to be coming back.

Our-greatest-glory

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2 thoughts on “Rising every time we fall…

  1. Wow! We all want to pick up where we left off after a set-back and as runners we figure there should be no reason why we can’t. I’m happy to hear you’re excited to be coming back to running!

    • Thanks Angie! I think it took admitting I have to start over and that’s OK. I re-played my own start of running, jogging in the kitchen. The joy I felt when I shuffled down a sidewalk for the first time, and the joy of the first trail. I am going in looking at everything as “new” instead of mourning lost miles. I’ll celebrate the gains. The change in attitude really changed my excitement!
      I hope you’re well!

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