Body Hair

As my blog is named nolongernakedrunning I figured it would be appropriate to write about body hair, lack there of, ridding oneself of, too much of, the smell of, just the dang stuff in general. You’ve got to admit- it’s a compelling topic!

Since I am nolongernaked(running) this means I am growing a forest of hair…on my knuckles, back, legs, armpits…you know EVERYWHERE. This makes me an expert in the subject. OK, in reality- I hate body hair. Even the process of writing about it is making me itchy. I used to shave twice a day (really- I was that paranoid that maybe some stubble was coming back) arms, legs, pits, and nether region just to make sure there was no hair at all. I’m better now. In fact, I’ll even go a week without shaving once and awhile. I’ve learned to prefer waxing to shaving as it allows me to enjoy life vs hair removal though I hate that you actually have to have a certain amount of hair to remove in order to get waxed so sometimes end up shaving…it’s a catch 22.

So what makes body hair so bad? I’ve made a list of reasons that I, as a runner, distrust the little strands the burst forth from my skin.

1) Lotion goes into the hair, not the skin hence causing dry skin and itchy, ugly, scaly, lizard skin on any patches covered in fur (argue all you want- it’s true.)

2) Hairy armpits stink. Yeah, those little strands get wet with sweat, bacteria then has a a treat (yum!) and decides to reside there for more. Guess what? THAT STINKS. The more hair, the more stinky bacteria live in your pits. YOU SMELL! Deodorant doesn’t hide that!

3) Chafe much? Try removing some of the hair and it will probably get better. Those little bastards rubbing together can cause quite the friction burn. OW. Smooth skin is at least a little better– at least when you add lube.

4) Sweaty pits and crotch. It’s less when there’s less to cling too. ’nuff said.

5) Hair makes you hot. No, not that type of hot…I mean inferno..warm…overheated…it is like wearing a coat in August. TAKE THAT COAT OFF, you look ridiculous!

6) Losing the hair gives off the air that you’re a tidy person, even if your room is a pigsty. Go ahead, fake it!

7) How can you shine if you have bristles?

8) Wind resistance is reduced when you remove the drag– look, you could get a PR just by doing away with the filaments!

So, now that we have it established that you should do away with your body hair, the question of HOW arises right?

I’ve personally tried most everything and consistently return to the tried and true waxing as the #1 and shaving as the #2.

Why wax?  It gives long lasting results, the grow back is soft instead of stubble feeling like shaving, no cuts, and very smooth results.
Why not wax? It can be expensive (professional), you have to have 1/4″ hair to wax (that sucks), some people suck with pain (it hurts), you swim daily (chlorine burns like WHOA after a wax)

Why shave? Um, cause you don’t wax.
Why not shave? Cause you wax. Cause you’re wealthy enough to have laser hair removal or electrolysis.

Other things I’ve tried are 1) Epilator — I highly recommend against this unless you’re into slow forms of self torture. OW.  2) multiple types of hair removal creams — they stink (even when they say they don’t) they’re messy (even when they say they aren’t) –they burn (sometimes)– they don’t remove all the hair (really) — they only last as long as shaving (even when they say they’ll last longer) 3) Home Wax — I think some people could do this. Not me. I go for professional or not at all. Enough said.

I have never done Sugaring or Threading. Sugaring sounds like a yummy form of waxing. Threading sounds like a faster form of tweezing. Do I recommend either? Sure if they remove your hair!

Happy Hair Removal!


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